i believe i'm over my cold, but i still feel dizzy and my head is still foggy, but i still look ill don't i?
i'm kinda glad that this week was pretty laid back and i dont have that many projects to do.

i want to get over this cold that i have right away, because i'm tired of being exhausted when i get home from classes.

i've been feeling antisocial lately. i don't even like it when ppl at school come up to me to talk.  i don't know why but i want to be left alone and not be bothered for awhile.

this week was a horrible week (=_=)

 

i feel sick.,,.i made myself sick,.,.,im so worried about my dad that you cant even understand (*-*)

ive been crying all day worried about him that when i tried to call him i had to stop myself and waited an hour to make myself calm down to actually be audible (T~T)

ahhhhhhhhh i wish i could go up north to see him, but i have such an important class to attend tomorrow that i cant,..,,.im so jealous of my brother for having the day off tomorrow (>,<)o,.,.,.

i hope all goes well for him!!! and hopefully he will be released this week so i can go visit him this weekend!!!

i know some ppl just cant stand anyone's drama, but for this blog it's where i can somewhat escape reality.

the fact that i am sick doesn't help the matter of getting a phone call from my grandfather telling me that my father is in the hospital again and will be having surgery on monday. i didnt know what to tell the old man, since we are not that close to begin with, and i didnt know how to react. i just pray that he will be fine in the end because i dont know what to do if i lost my best friend.,..,,.i really don't,.,.,.he's all the family i have other than my mother and brother.

i dont know my mother's side, the asian side, because they are still in the philippines and we havent had the money to travel there to finally meet them. my father's side, the caucasians, have no respect for myself, my mother, or my dick headed brother because we are not white.

that is my family and that's all i have.
i pray for his health,
i pray for a successful surgery,
and i pray for a speedy recovery so i can see his damn face come spring break!

 

hope you guys checked out my youtube site. there is a new video up and it's a contest (^o^)/,,..,go watch it now and enter to win some cool prizes XD. tell everyone you know! ,..,its a month long contest so no need to rush~

i was trying out a new hairstyle. i was inspired by miku after someone showed me a video of his hair lol. but i failed this time.,.,i will work on it later XP,..,its been awhile since i spiked up my hair.,.,and im kinda afraid even though my hair isnt THAT damaged from dying it.

ah i had a snow day today! but i did absolutely nothing.,,.i made that video and felt like shhhhiiiittttt (=_=),,.guuuhhhh i hate having a cold (T_T),..,i hope i feel better by next week!! (T^T)

im really starting to like this color hair on me (@w@),.,.but i want it more like a medium ash blond though .,..,,.later~~

 

i made vday cookies (>.>) anti-vday style buwaha! it took all day to make those cookies and my hands are still stained from the dye (*-*),.,.,.they're good! but i'm not going to eat them ahahah (^^;) i will be giving them out to my friends today or maybe tomorrow?? either way it was fun to make with friends <3

i wanted to make a video of it, but my camera died half way through,.,..i guess i could edit what i have now and make something out of it?

ANYWAYS!

hope you guys have a lovely vday, even if you make it anti-vday like i am XP

i dyed my hair today XD,.,.,.go figure that i couldn't wait. but im happy that i only bleached my hair once (*_*) and i got rid of all the black, but you know that horrid orange color right? well i just went with it and will just wait until march or something to redye my hair, cause i know this color will fade and you can tell where i had blond and where i had orange hair hahah!!!

 

before

 

after

where i had the brown before turned white when i attempted to do a root touch-up and some how the bleach went all over that section making it lighter than what i wanted, so it looks kinda gray auburn color XD

maybe i should save up and go to a salon like i keep telling myself and have them correct EVERYTHING.,,.and maybe get my eyebrows dyed (@w@),,.,.after my piercing heals (>.>)

at least i didnt lose any length when i dyed my hair today ,.,.yay!!!

i really like getting mail,.,.,.mail that doesn't contain bills inside of them (^^;)
i finally received the necklace i ordered online like a week ago~ really fast delivery and it came from china (*-*) really fast!!! << even with all this snow >>

anyways its a knock off of the one Uruha (guitarist from the gazette) has from a couple photoshoots and videos~~

the chain is really long where i dont have to unlatch it to put it on, so i think i will take out some of the links later on. im kinda afraid to wear,.,.,.i dont want it to break (*-*)

the bruising is slowly going away. as you can see i have some bruising action going on due to my new piercing. its still a little swollen, but it's gradually going down. ah i cant wait till it heals!!! along with my tongue piercing.
i really want to switch out the bar in my tongue. since the swelling has decreased a lot just this week, ive been having a hard time finding the right position to lay the piercing in my mouth where it doesn't bother me lol. just like my lip piercing with eating (=_=),..,,.,.uhh i have to wait another week before i can switch out the piercings to a shorter bar (T-T). but no complications thus far!!! happy happy~~~~

i hope my school gets closed down tomorrow due to the weather,..,.,*crosses fingers*

finally a snow day! almost. i had classes this morning then decided not to go to my 330-620pm class due to the weather. it usually takes me about 10 minutes to get back to my apartment from campus, but today took A LOT longer to get home. so much snow outside!!!(x_x) but luckily they closed the school down at 3:00pm. so when i got home, i went back to sleep for a bit and now i am up and ready to do,.,.,.something non school related!!! XDD  although i need to finish my illustration which you see above~~ i need to mount and wrap it for presentation tomorrow. i really hope there will be no classes tomorrow, or i will be sad to drive in this 'wonderful' weather again in the morning.

i really want to dye my hair soon, but i should def. wait till spring break,.,.,right?

 

did i mention that my friend bought me this at the convention for sharing my badge with her?? i'm in love, but i couldnt find the other one (T-T). anyways this will be another sad update. i dont know why i keep posting them (*-*) ahhh must be that time of year where a lot of ppl feel depressed due to the lack of sun..,,.,.or they just hate school that much (=_=). anyways this week has been a very bad week for me. i feel more depressed with schooling since my one instructor is forcing me to become a cookie cutter of girls and to design more normal stuff for a better grade. <<<< hate hate hate. everyone has been mentioning v-day, which i call single awareness day XDD and decided to make my friends cookies in the shapes of hearts and break them in half hahah!!! but it has been such a long time since i last went on a date (*-*), even though a lot of ppl say that others will call me cute or adorable, but still no dating in this ones life lol. also my dad was in the hospital for a long time due to pneumonia, but was recently released . when i called him during the week he wasnt doing any better. he sounded like his father (@.@) and he said he lost a lot of weight because he couldnt eat (T-T)..,,.i really wanted to pack up my stuff and go back home to take care of him (T^T) x100000000. it really bothers me that i cant do anything at this point and same with my mom. shes been upset with some stuff and i feel like i want to go back to see her as well. it must be an asian thing (thats what everyone says) that no matter the age you will always want to take care of your parents no matter what. is this true? anyways.,,.since i was such an emotional wreck i decided to do something, like dye my hair or get more piercings, so i went and got more piercings - eyebrow and tongue,.,.,.they had a sale going on that day, buy one get one free. so that was a good day. but now i feel lazy and dont want to do any of my projects even though everything is due next week *sigh*,.,.,.but in other news!!! i was offered another (this is the third time) partnership with youtube, but im not going to take it hahah~ thank you for watching my videos and leaving comments~ it truly makes me happy (*^^*)y

 
 

  

it's so hard to eat at the moment, my tongue is still sore, so ive been making smoothies and been drinking those lol~,.,.,i should work out now (*-*) then do homework,.,.,.,.yes (>.>) thats what i SHOULD do hahah~

 

i come home to a sink full of dishes all the time (and im hardly ever home anymore). sadly the last time i actually made a home cooked meal was sunday night. now look at this!!! i dont know how the hell my roommates do it, but they do a fine job in dirtying my kitchen.  they hardly do the dishes, ok never do the dishes, and they bitch and complain about how dirty the sink is.,.,.,.wtf am i suppose to do?? i did all those dishes after being at school for 10 plus hours, plus having projects to do as well. bunch of lazy bums, i am not your mother!!!,.,.and if i was damn im good~~ XDD