I Can't Give Up!!

ok, that fat cunt sucking cow made me re-drape all these different skirts!!! ugh! story: our homework was to drape different flared skirt variations in one week. One at center front One on side seam One at center panel with one back to one of the above and one with pleats or gathering incorporated with the design so i did all of that right? and i did a gathering piece for center front and added the back to it. along with side seam and center panel. so i did all of the homework right!? yes.,.,yes i did well when i showed her one,.,.she looked at it and then she told me to redo the center front, to redo the back and add it to a different part of the skirt (like add it to side seam or at center panel) AND! to do another center front with pleats or gather,.,.,.,. ZOMG! i was the only one that had to do this!!!!! (>,<)O FUCK! so i had to redo do all those pieces instead of working on my homework (which everyone else was doing) and i rushed and showed her all the new pieces i made. thankfully she gave me a check for them, but FUCK! i had to do all those within 2 and half hours with everything cut out, marked, pinned together, and matching the other pieces. .,.,,.i truely hate tuesday.,.,.,,.,. and i swear that woman does not like me (=_=),..,

Does this happen to you?

i'll make a great waiter~ anyways, i dont know if this happens to you or not, but it has been recently basically it's when someone judges you and the person who you make like. they say "really!?!" "they're not that good looking" or they go one and point out flaws that THEY see, and not you. you know, it's not like your friend has to like them as well right? it's stupid and because i'm such a pushover i don't say anything about the person they may have a crush on. ugh, i thought 'friends' were supportive? whatever, it's annoying and i hate it. don't judge me for who i like and i wont judge you or your crush for that matter. we all have our own preferences and we don't have to like the same thing in a person or anything else. anyways, there is a convention coming up this weekend and i'm going to go or not. just depends on how much homework i can get done before the weekend (^^;)

I Miss You So

i'm trying not to do my hair this year, but sometimes i feel as it just looks better when it is (^^;). after thinking it out and then measuring and calculating, my hair will grow 5 inches by august of 2010,..,,.holy shiz!! perfect length~,.., my hair will be somewhat long by winter break and im wondering which tutorial to attempt?? im thinking byou from screw or even uruha from gazette, but it just depends on the hair situation lol. lately i've been living at fashion building. one day i stayed in that building for 13 hours (*~*) with only an hour and a half break. i had classes from 8am-620pm.,..,then right after class i went into the dye lab to dye my fabric, which takes 2 hours plus cleaning and such. on thursday, when i have no classes, i went back to the fashion building to do more homework. that day i stayed there from 10am-330pm. i love friday~ it's the only time i get to spend time with my friends~ sadly they are not in fashion and we never get to see each other. when talking to them today i felt like we were strangers because we havent seen each other in such a long time, so it was kinda akward (T_T). i truely miss my friends! i want to go back to freshman year and hang out in the dorms again!! i have no friends in fashion except a few, but those are the ones where i will talk to them but never hang out with after school is out. sad, but true. (T-T) ah! maybe tomorrow i go watch a friend get her haircut, but that would just provoke me (^^;) stay strong! and stop talking about it XD .,,.,.i really want to make a video,.,..,.,but not a tutorial but a 'what do i use for my tutorial' video and different techniques ya know? i try to answer everyones question but they are all the same and i just end up repeating myself (T-T).,,.,.maybe ill do that tonight? i dunno,..,,.im just tired of homework and projects taking over my life!!! (>,<) ..,.,.,plus i want to play with my camera XDD,.,..,,.

More Hair Pictures, ZOMG i have a problem

my goal is to grow out my hair and get it cut like hiko's from danger gang or even aoi's from the gazette,..,., either way, they're both the same style and all i have to do is not go to a salon for a long ass time XDD,.,.,.ahh!! i have a horrible obsession with hair (=_=),.,.i should have gone to cosmetology school instead of art school XDD!! i hope this week i wont have a lot of homework (=_=) now that i'm done with exams for a couple weeks i can focus on my art projects and hopefully create some good piece to put in my portfolio (*^^*)v i want to make another cosplay outfit!,..,i want to make so many (=_=) but i want to make something that aoi has worn X0DD it's been almost a month since i have ordered that wig for my bou cosplay and it still hasn't came in the mail yet,.,..,bahh i wanted to wear that outfit for this halloween party XDD.,.lame!!! back to work!

Make More, Sell. Make More

while looking at fabric swatches, i found this really nice looking fabric for halloween. it was a must buy. so i made a skirt out of it. the fabric underneath i think is too stiff for the top fabric which is a jersey knit. it's light but still has weight on it~. i love it~ XD. though the waistband is a little too small in width, so i may go back and fix that, but i'm so damn tired (x_x) i finished it within 3-4 hours?.,.,i think i should start making some stuff and sell them XDD, get some money huh? ah i'm so dead in the picture and i really need to clean my apartment (*-*;) i should shower and sleep, or shower homework and sleep, or just sleep XDDD i want my hair to long again (=_=), why did i freaking cut it? .,,.i shoulda just dyed it black, get a nice trim and let it go.,.,,.fuck! my friends are not helping my addiction of cutting my hair XDD ,..,,.sleep time (=_=)zZZZzzzZZZZ.,,.,.,.,.

Seriously?

this is probably the first year where i haven't worn a lot of make-up or dressed up at all. sad part is.,.,i've only been in school for 4 weeks now (=_=) FUUUCKKK, this year is too stressful (*-*) anyways, you remember that horrible fat cunt sucking cow? well she already assigned so many projects for her class and, since i have her for my history of fashion class, also gave out an exam and group project. i did a lot better than i thought on her exam as i quickly read the chapters and did well on the group project thanks to one group member who did a lot of the work for the presentation itself. i just had to do research, send emails out, and speak, not bad~ (prepartion time: one weekend) but for the projects itself in draping.,,.ZOMG! the first project where she basically said that i didn't have THE eye, she asked me straight up if i have ever draped before. i told her nooooo.,.,.,then she told me that it looks good and gave me a good grade. last projects that i turned in this week (which consisted of 4 draped front bodices, the uppper portion of the body (^^;) ) she went around and looked at mine. "very nice" "this is too clean" "nicely presented" "this is too perfect" ok i've been busting ass in that class to redem myself, but i don't think that flake remembers what she told me the second week,.,..,bitch..., and while looking at my projects, she kept saying they were nicely done, but totally nit-picked the hell out of it so i wouldn't get that check plus (that's how she grades, check plus, check, check minus).,.,.,.damnit! so close, she even told me that one was too perfect and gave me a check,.,.hoe! but in the end i recieved one check plus and the rest were just a plain old check. i already took 3 exams so far. yesterday, i took two back to back and i think i did well for my psychology, but horrible on my anatomy. i didn't put any effort in studying for anatomy so it's my fault, but tomorrow i have another exam in anatomy (=_=).,.,FUCK! but i saw a dead body (^^;) for my anatomy class. i felt bad, but then again the people donated themselves to be skinned, displayed, and played with. ah, ok back to work!!!

Youtube people can get a little creepy

it's not that i don't mind talking to my youtube people, which i find very dearing and enjoy talking to you guys, but sometimes it can get a little creepy recently this person has started talking to me on msn (he's from youtube) and thought i was a hot boy. well if you know me, i played along, but never answered his question of what gender i was (since i dont think it matters when i make videos, ya know?). anyways when he found out that i was a girl and he went crazy and was telling me that he loved me and such. haha, well that's juvenile if you ask me, so i told him that it's not love. it's only a crush since you only see me on your computer screen and don't know me in person. well this boy insisted that he loves me and wants to be my boyfriend..,,..,.,i can only laugh XDD anyways, he's been persistant with talking to me online and such and then always asked if i was with a boy or something.,,.,then tells me that i need to lose weight, wear more color, be more girly, and to let my hair grow out now i've seen those life time movie network movies about women who are controlled by their man XD, but seriously WTF!?!?! for one you don't know me, two i am older than you (i am older than 1 and younger than 10000 hahha) but you're telling me these things online, we have never met, and you are "controlling" my actions.,,.,.ZOMG this person needs some serious help i laugh and laugh and laugh and feel sorry for this boys girlfriend in the future but yet i still toy with him,.,,.god i need to get a hobby XDD,.,..,such a mean person i am XP but the internet is serious business people (*~*)! you never know what might happen to you if you leak out too much information~ play it safe!.,,.,.,.yes, be safe you guys! don't be stupid ,.,.i on the other hand likes to play with peoples emotions online when they are THAT creepy.,,.and lonely,..,and sad,.,..,and dumb XD,,..,i should stop *slaps self* i want to switch my msn account, but i'm too lazy and like my ppl on msn now back to my illustrations *but who could resist this cute face XDDD,.,.ok now that was really vain*

Unicorns are sexy

zomg i have so much homework/projects/studying i need to do this weekend!!! (T0T) but i waste my time on the internet XDD ah, slowly i'm getting ready to go back to the school to do homework (=_=). but i'm waiting for my friend to wake up downstairs lol. we have to use our school ID to get into different buildings, but mine doesn't work so i made my one friend stay the night since her card works XDD, but she went to bed a lot ealier than i did and she's still sleeping!!!..,.,i need to sleep more? XDD on average i sleep a good 4 hours on the weekend and i try to sleep at least 6 hours on the weekdays~,.,..,so messed up huh? but it's been working for the past couple years lol. on thursday i saw that my camera died and cried, not really. so i went out yesterday to get a new camera since, well, i'm a camwhore hahha. after a good hour or so looking at cameras i got the nikon coolpix. in a purple color (=_=) because that's all they have left. but omg! the program allows me to edit my pictures/videos on windows movie maker. now i can finally edit my videos to make them better!!!! (*w*) also, i've decided to let my hair grow out for a year AND to go wannabe vegetarian lol..,.,actually i dont think i could, but i want to start eating healthy. (^^;),..,.,this is the year for change. next year is my last year and i want to look goood XDD ok, not enough sleep, time to go to the school to do homework..,,.yyyyaaayyy *dies*

(T~T)

it has only been two weeks and i'm already stressing out! i don't think it's going to get any better from here. i want to quit XD. i want to just drop out of art school and do something else XDD. how awful is that? when asking one of my instructors for help, since i'm still new at doing this whole fashion thing. she looked at what i was doing and then at me and said "you don't have the eye for this" of course i'm not going to say anything, she's the one that determines if i pass or not, but holy shit!!!! i got sooo pissed. of course i don't have the 'eye' this is the first fucking time i'm doing this shit you fat fucking cunt sucking cow!!!!! (>,<)o,.,.,.excuse my language. aren't instructors suppose to encourage the student and help them when they need help!?!?! gah, such a horrible attitude! later that day i slowly became depressed. i feel worthless (=_=). like i can't do anything anymore, i'm not cut out to be a designer. i just suck. i want to quit and just flip burgers until i die. such a horrible feeling. i thought i would get over what she said since well, it was just her, but i can't!.,,.i never hold grudges, but when someone says such a thing and takes a stab at my ego, i just crumble. i'm really sensitive at those types of things (and yet i took up the profession where i will always be critized). i wanted to break down today when working on various projects, because i kept thinking about what she said. i joke about it when i tell other people, like how it's only the second week and how she could've waited until a good month to say such things. ,..,.,makes me want to cry.,.,..,and i almost did out of frustration and stressing out over all my projects .,.,.,this year,.,..,,.is going to be a long ass year.,.,.,.,.,(T-T)v