sometimes i honestly do wonder if i have a true friend here. a friend who i can rely on more than others. a friend who will always be there. a friend who will listen and may not understand. not the friends that i hardly see, but when we do, we will just catch up, or just have fun all the time. not the friend that may not share every interest of yours, but is still nice to sit down and talk about other things in life.,..,.,.,.,sometimes i wonder if my friends are better than my true friend. i treat all my friends the same. i treat them with all the love i can give, but it seems that some,.,.very few will take advantage of my hospitality. sadly..,i know that they are doing so, but when i hear that they talk shit about me, makes me feel like donkey shit. after all that time and love and care and myself i give to them, they still talk shit and act all innocent and make me seem like the bad guy. i try to make everyone happy, but in the end i know i've had cause someone some pain and then make the other one feel better about themselves. i just cant win. i just cant make everyone happy, but i really want to. either one is jealous or one is hurt. argghh why must everyone make something simple so complicated. or maybe just one person do all the damage. i feel horrible about some things and i wish i could take some back, but in all honestly i cannot hurt anyone. because i do not like being hurt myself. ok i think that sums up how i feel about the situation i am in.